Simply Cinderella

My alarm clock went off at 5:00am today. I had a job interview at 6:00am. It's currently 7:00am.   I had planned to go back to bed once I got home, but I found myself as awake as ever.  It might've been the coffee I had on the drive... but I honestly think I would have been just as perky without it. You see, as much as in theory I don't like waking up early, I absolutely love it.  If you find yourself puzzling over the fact that no matter how late you sleep in you still can't find the energy to make it through the day, I was right there with you.  Especially on my days off I wouldn't even set an alarm clock, I just let myself wake up whenever I felt like it.  In the moment it feels like the best thing ever.  But I usually found myself exhausted by 3 in the afternoon.  Was it because the night before I'd stay up until 1am?  I mean, after all, if I was going to sleep until 10 I was still getting 8 hours, right?  Well, it really wasn't the best ...

 If you're an Eeyore like me, joy doesn't come so naturally to us.  Anyone who has a stronger melancholic personality knows that even a smile takes a bit of effort, let alone being joyful in all things.  See, we aren't naturally happy a lot of the time, and if we aren't happy, where's the joy in that? But without joy, life just seems to be a bit of a miserable existence, doesn't it? That's why it's so important to be joyful even without happiness. Joy isn't a feeling.  Happiness is an emotion, but joy is a choice,  and a virtue.  It's a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and therefore can be felt even in the darkness of life if you're in a state of grace. But joy isn't always the easiest to achieve when you're stuck in a rut.  Trust me, I've been there more times than 1, or 100.  So how do you overcome your melancholy when it seems to outweigh all the joy buried inside you? Try smiling. Smile at the person you walk by on the street.  Smile...

 For as long as I can remember I've had one instinct that has stood out more so than others. It wasn't to do right, it wasn't to do things my way, it wasn't even to be happy. All I wanted was to be liked. Not loved, just liked.  Approved of, one of the cool kids,  as they say.  If I stood out or felt too different from those around me I became incredibly insecure.  When skinny jeans became the "in" thing, you bet I wanted a pair.  If I didn't know the latest and greatest songs on the radio that my friends knew by heart, I felt left out.  For years I've struggled with this lack of confidence all stemming from the desire to be liked by others.  And it's brought me to a bit of a miserable state, to say the least.  It's too much of a burden, always caring what goes on in the heads of other people.  Especially when you know in your heart, this isn't who you want to be.  Deep down I longed to be able to desire only the approval of Our Lor...

 It seems that every time I sit down to write this, something needs taking care of, whether it's dishes, baking, making dinner, tidying.. sounds a bit familiar. ;) And I used to get so annoyed that all these little tasks needed completing, especially when there was something I had in mind to get done that day, like an art project or reading a certain book. Of course, no one likes to do chores,  they're all very bothersome in their own way.  Even since we were young that word has had a negative connotation in our daily lives.  As kids all we wanted to do was play, and any kind of interruption, be it work or even lunch, would add to the resentment we felt for anything but the thing we wanted to be doing.  Now at our ages when responsibilities become ever more present it seems the only thing we want to do to be at peace is to escape them. But I've found that they're actually the key  to achieving peace. I know, I'm crazy.  And do I always practice what I ...